Re-evaluate your intentions before making a move to break up your marriage.
There are times when marriages end where both spouses are on the same page and agree that divorce is the right road to take. These divorce cases are typically amicable and fairly simple. There are also times when one spouse is blindsided and isn’t prepared to let go and give up on the marriage. In these situations, emotions can get messy and life turns upside down very quickly. Consider several questions when determining if you are really ready to end your marriage.
If you have an agenda outside of ending the marriage, you may not be ready for a divorce. Don’t start the proceedings hoping that the threat of divorce will teach your spouse to treat you better or make him/her regret not being kinder to you in the first place. Divorce will not change your spouse’s heart or mind about how willing he or she is to commit to the relationship. In fact, it might make things worse.
When emotions are high, it’s easy to say things you don’t mean. Are you threatening divorce simply because you are frustrated and angry, or is divorce something you really want to do? If you are constantly threatening divorce, you may also lose credibility with your spouse. Ending a marriage is no small task. According to many divorce lawyers, divorce can have emotional effects for years to come.
Many couples lack intimacy and closeness because they struggle with communication or are constantly battling for power. While they still have feelings for each other, they aren’t sure how to get the marriage back on track and wonder if that is even possible. If you love your spouse but find that there is no way to compromise on conditions that are important to you, search within yourself to see if you're the problem.
When considering a divorce, weigh your options carefully and make sure that you aren’t being reactive, emotional, or angry. It’s hard to make a reasonable and rational decision about ending your marriage in the middle of an argument. By simply waiting until you and your spouse are calm and able to discuss the relationship you have with each other in a respectful way, you may find that you don’t really want or need a divorce after all.